Living in the Waiting

waiting

1. the time in between the ask and the answer
2. wandering in the "desert" in search of the promised land
3. battle between being frustrated and being hopeful

You said that I didn't have to wait anymore.  You said to go.  I spent two weeks making sure that I was hearing you correctly, then checked in with people I trust.  We heard You say go, move, now is the time.  So, here I am trying to go.  And the very first step and ran smack into a very tall, very sturdy brick wall.

Yet, I know what I heard.  I trust You.  I know You know exactly how this will work out.  But seriously, after waiting for years for you to say Yes, Go!  This wait is much more challenging, more painful.  It feels almost cruel; like a smack in the face.  Doubt is constantly creeping in on the edges of my mind. 

Then You had someone speak straight to me.  "You don't want to be like Abraham and create a family on your own timing.  That was a mess and has caused generational turmoil."  Okay, I get it.  I definitely don't want to do that.  You spoke to Abraham.  You fulfilled Your promise - even after Abraham took things into his own hands and screwed everything up.  You still followed through with Your plan and Your promise.  So don't let me be like Abraham.  Let me live in the waiting.  Let me be prepared for when You decide to bust open opportunity and make miracles happen.  I'm watching and waiting. 

Psalm 27:14
"Wait patiently for the LORD.  Be brave and courageous.  Yes, wait patiently for the LORD."

I think you repeated that for me.... yes, yes, I get it.  I will wait.