Tuesday, September 26, 2017

The Weight of the Papers In My Hands

I can't even begin to describe the emotions and thoughts that have been twirling around in my head and mind these last few days.  It feels too big to grasp - too much hope, too much opportunity for disappointment.  

Over a year ago, I made a very public announcement that I was moving towards the process of adoption.  I had to let people in at the beginning.  I live as a result of the generosity of others and wanted them to be aware of what God was calling me to do and that I would need their help.  A year has past and finally I have received the final documents necessary to be able to turn in my application packet.  All the official documents with their official seals and their official translations.  The papers feel weighty: futures held in the balance of a bunch of paperwork.  

I have found my heart wanting to protect itself this past month, because a yes and a match is not a guarentee.  But as I´ve been challenged to write things I want my children to know... here's what I´d like my son to know today.

Sweet boy,

You have not be forgotten.  You are seen.  Your story is not complete.  I´m fighting for you.  This is the verse I´m declaring over you today:

"Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen." 
(Eph. 3:20-21, Amplified Bible)

Superabundantly more- yup... more than we can even dare to ask.  And I´m daring to ask a lot for you.  

I am sad that today I don´t get to hold you close, to pray over you, and remind you that you are loved.  But know I am praying for you.  And you have the absolute best Father there is!  He is with you now.  And I´ve asked Him to hold you tight and whisper His love in your ear.  And I´m praying that His voice will be louder than anything else that might be going on around you.  You are loved, champ!

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Sunday, September 17, 2017

The KNOWN Stranger

“Humanity is like a gigantic spider web.  Touch it anywhere and the whole thing trembles.  For as we move about our world, a kind word here, an ugly act there, what we do for good or ill will touch this person, this person will touch another, and so on, until who knows where the whole things ends.  No man, no woman is an island.” 
–Frederick Buechner

On August 28th, 2006, I caused my world’s spider web to tremble.  My life changed radically as I sat staring out the window of a plane that had landed in San Jose, Costa Rica.  Just hours before, I had waved goodbye to my parents as they stood helplessly crying at the security gate in Indianapolis, Indiana; I had just moved to Central America.  An entourage of Young Life staff met me at the airport, and took my to lunch before they took me to my “home” to meet my “family”.  I moved directly into tico (Spanish slang for Costa Rican) culture and full-time Spanish.  I was surrounded by new people, smells, and sounds.  I stuck out; I’m a nearly albino, freckle-covered red-headed gringa.  My status as a stranger is impossible to miss.  It's amazing how fast someone can become a stranger.  In one day, I had gone from a place where I was known and loved by many in a culture where I knew what was accepted and “normal” behavior to be a stranger lost in a strange, new land.

You’d think 11 years later, I would no longer feel like a stranger.  But the word stranger still seems like a good description most of the time.  Obviously, I still physically stick out.  My Spanish is pretty good but my accent immediately gives away my very much non-native-ness.  There are days when I declare that I am Tica de Corazon (Costa Rican at heart) and I honestly feel it and believe it.  (I do cheer on the Costa Rican Men’s Soccer team over the USA and encourage you to watch them in the World Cup next summer – they are incredible!)  Most days I follow cultural protocol without having to think about every move.  Wear pants even though it’s really hot and humid.  Throw the toilet paper in the trash can.  Greet everyone with a kiss when you walk into a room, and don’t forget to kiss them each again when you say goodbye.  But there is always something that reminds that I don’t fully belong.  I’m still an outsider, a stranger. 

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This week I sat across the table of another immigrant friend who said, “I really just miss being known.”  Her honesty resonated with me.  At first, I was saddened by the fact that I feel there are such a small number of people that surround me that make me feel truly known.  But then, I was excited because I’ve been given the opportunity to understand a piece of so many people’s journeys: people who find themselves living outside of their passport country for a myriad of reasons; people who are strangers. I also realized how incredible it is to know that we are known.  We are KNOWN.  Every hair on our head counted; every tear carefully caught; every thought and prayer heard; every passion, hope, desire, and dream recognized and celebrated.  I’m not a stranger to the Creator of the Universe.  None of us are.  We are known deeply.  Know that today.  You are not a stranger to the King.  You are beloved and known.  

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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

To My Tribe
tribe [trahyb]

1.
any aggregate of people united by ties of descent from a common ancestor, community of customs and traditions, adherence to the same leaders, etc.
2.
a local division of an aboriginal people.
3.
a division of some other people.


It takes a village to raise a child. It's true children become healthy adults when they are raised in a community that loves them and invests in them.  However, I think this proverb falls short.

It takes a tribe to thrive, to live abundant life.

I have an incredible tribe!  So, I just want to take a moment to be thankful to my tribe, to the people who surround me and love me.  Those who invite me into their lives, who give me space to be me and let them in.  

THANK YOU
... for the invites to join your family for dinner and be a part of normal family rhythms.
... for texting and emailing just to check in or be encouraging.
... for making me laugh.
... for reminding my sweet nephews that their tia loves them so much.
... for crying with me.
... sitting next to me at church.
... for celebrating with me.
... for asking how to pray, actually praying, and following up later.
... for challenging me to grow and walking with me through refining processes.
... for simply reminding me that I'm not alone.

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Thank you.  I know that I am so much better because I'm not living this life alone.  Thank you.