The Weight of the Papers In My Hands

I can't even begin to describe the emotions and thoughts that have been twirling around in my head and mind these last few days.  It feels too big to grasp - too much hope, too much opportunity for disappointment.  

Over a year ago, I made a very public announcement that I was moving towards the process of adoption.  I had to let people in at the beginning.  I live as a result of the generosity of others and wanted them to be aware of what God was calling me to do and that I would need their help.  A year has past and finally I have received the final documents necessary to be able to turn in my application packet.  All the official documents with their official seals and their official translations.  The papers feel weighty: futures held in the balance of a bunch of paperwork.  

I have found my heart wanting to protect itself this past month, because a yes and a match is not a guarentee.  But as I´ve been challenged to write things I want my children to know... here's what I´d like my son to know today.

Sweet boy,

You have not be forgotten.  You are seen.  Your story is not complete.  I´m fighting for you.  This is the verse I´m declaring over you today:

"Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen." 
(Eph. 3:20-21, Amplified Bible)

Superabundantly more- yup... more than we can even dare to ask.  And I´m daring to ask a lot for you.  

I am sad that today I don´t get to hold you close, to pray over you, and remind you that you are loved.  But know I am praying for you.  And you have the absolute best Father there is!  He is with you now.  And I´ve asked Him to hold you tight and whisper His love in your ear.  And I´m praying that His voice will be louder than anything else that might be going on around you.  You are loved, champ!